as some kind people want to share the character witness stories they prepared in case the case had proceeded, or opinions of support
or just as a place people can discuss without having to expose themselves to family/workmates on facebook as all forms of believing the accused understanndably do. (as I too do not ever want to empower those denying victims)
This is intended to be read by those who have no personal knowledge of my character/actions/past or are needing reminders
They are here anonamously to protect them from the abuse/bullying they have seen other supporters recieve online. but if anyone seriously wants to verify their authenticity, I will pass that persons contact details onward and they will gladly authenticate their statements/stories
And as with the rest of the site no names have been used so that despite this site being permanent, I hope the need for it will someday pass so I can move on.
I do welcome any/all public discussion as I do want those wanting the truth to be able to see/hear judge for themselves, and will continue to make myself available for any all face to face inquirys (and again re-iterate I would like to hear the details of the current allegations).
My public responses (because no comments allowed on blog) to Megan Baumgartner's blog posts have been moved to their own page, as they were overrunning space here
I am writing this on behalf of my dear friend A, because I am deeply saddened that, few people are expressing their support. I feel that by speaking out, I may hopefully encourage others to do the same, because A is one of the most trustworthy men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
I have known A for many many years, and have witnessed him do everything he could to look after women who were incapacitated through drink or drugs, and ensure that they were safe and looked after. I've seen him do everything he could to help a woman who displayed signs of her drink being spiked. I've seen him check repeatedly that interested parties were genuinely interested (ie, checking for consent) and have even been turned down by him because I was drunk at the time. As such, when the rumours surfaced, I knew without a shred of doubt that they were false. I am therefore sad and angry on A's behalf because despite his clear innocence, and despite many people telling him privatly that they believe him, I see no public support.
Therefore I ask: if you do believe A, don't just tell him so, please do the non-cowardly decent thing by showing your support publicly.
I've known A for many years and lived with him. He has always been respectful and actively took responsibility for anyone who has been so drunk that they couldn't look after themselves, even when they became a total nuisance to others. From calling taxis, holding back people's hair A has always been a party mom and would be the last person to do something reckless or irresponsible.
I have known A for over 20 years. I would imagine a lot of you reading this have known him for a very long time too. Like him I have been the butt of many gossipy stories in Dublin however this one is harder to get rid of and the stigma of this lie is something that will follow A around for the rest of his life. I have never in ALL of the time I have known A felt awkward, uncomfortable, in danger or compromised. In fact, A has always been my go to person when I was in a bad situation or too drunk. I have slept beside him in various states of undress and probably unconscious knowing I was 100% safe.
I would urge people on the scene to watch how those spreading this vile lie speak about other people because trust me this is how they will speak about you. A could never or would never do what he is being accused of. I have trusted friends, family and myself with him completely without doubt in the time I’ve known him. I am 100% certain that this is a lie and eventually the truth with out.
Also fair warning if anyone tries to badmouth him to my face I will not be responsible for my actions!
A is, without a doubt, one of my best friends. I’ve never met someone who cared more about my behalf as a woman as him, doesn’t matter if it was psychologically or physically.
A always said funny things to people who ALLOWED him to speak that way to them. And I’ve seen MANY times that he always want to make sure the other part involved is consenting anything to happen. I’ve slept in A’s house many, many times while I was living in Dublin, and he never touched me without my full permission. I’ve slept in the same bad as him and we NEVER had sex. The only time we shared a kiss was in a party, full of people, and in total and absolute consent of both parts.
A always took care of me. Always. I’ve trusted my life to him because I was a very young foreigner, completely alone in Europe, so it would be pretty easy to attack or do anything to me once I was alone and a complete fool. A would prefer dropping me at my place every time after a night out and always make sure I was safe. I cannot do anything but THANK him because I was really, really lucky of meeting him. He helped me when I was ill, he helped me when I was homeless, he helped me when it was snowing a lot and there were no bus to take me home. And he never asked anything in change. Ever.
I’ve visited Dublin back in 2015 and I spent 13 days in his place with my own MOTHER. I’ve trusted ourselves to him, because he always took care of me and I knew he would be great with my mother too. A is a very important person in my life and I’ve seen him defending girls, myself included, countless times, specially in parties and dance clubs.
I’m pretty sure someone can regret having sex with someone, but if it was consent, and I am pretty sure it was, since I know him very well, the person cannot claim abuse. I’m sure the person regret and to try to get rid of guilty, decided to put herself in a victim role. I believe total and completely in A.
I thought I would share one particular interaction with A. that has stuck with me throughout the years as an indicator of the kind of man he is. It should also shed some light as to why I find no merit in the accusations levelled against him.
A few years ago, myself, him and his then-partner were at a house party together, organised by a mutual friend. As the night went on and much fun was had, it became clear that his partner and I were attracted to one another. A. proposed that, should I want to, I could accompany both of them back to his home. Of course, I was anxious at first. I had never done anything like that before and, being uninterested in men, wondered how the dynamics would work. A. took the leading role in assuaging those anxieties and ensured that my consent was respected and sought out at every step of the way. He even offered to sleep on the couch if it made myself and his partner more comfortable. This was at a time when his house was undergoing renovations and large parts of it were exposed and cold. Of course, I did not want to exclude him or separate him from his partner, so I declined this. We spent the night and the next day together and I can say with confidence that it was the one and only time where my wishes were respected to such an extent in a threesome. I parted from them with a happy feeling in my heart, of having shared something special with two good friends that I cared for deeply. As such, this was the one and only time where a threesome was an entirely positive experience for me, and that is largely due to A.'s sollicitude.
Knowledge and respect for consent isn't something you can just unlearn or turn off. It is always there, informing your decisions. Therefore, without a successful prosecution, I cannot and will not believe that my friend A., who displayed such knowledge and consideration with me, so casually violated the consent of another, and must deplore and oppose the tactics used by certain people to attack him.
I have been knowing A for at least 10 years. We met in Dominion, which used to be the Dublin weekly goth club, where he used to work. During the years we engaged and kept a stong friendship and I also had the pleasure a couple of times to live in his house for few month each time.
I no longer live in Ireland since 2012 and when I heard of what happened I was shocked and disgusted. I could not believe for a second that anyone could really believe that he's a rapist.
A is A GENTLEMAN, surely he has a dark and somewhat perve sense of humor, who could give a wrong first impression to whom doesn't know him, but behind this dark side hides a loyal and heart-kinded person.
He has been always up to help people and he's the first that at any party would make sure of the well being of everyone. Overall if the party involve any sort of sexual or sensual connection or activities.
When he used to work in Dominion he has often helped to sort out any kind of problem related to sessual harrasment or drunken fight. (well not many as don't usually happened in goth clubs)
Around him I always felt absolutely safe and protected. When I was in financial difficulties or between places he welcomed me in his place and never asked for rent, infact I started to give him money voluntariously.
I also slept many times in the same bed with him as friends and never felt that he would have done anything to me if I didn't want to.
A is a great person and I really hope this all thing is coming to an end as it is utterly unfair, and gone beyond ridiculous
a long piece about how questions need to be asked rather than assumptions made.
people who should be speaking up here but won't (likely): the now ex-friend who should remember the time I verbally tore him a new one when I discovered he and his gf and a young foregn houseguest of mine had had a thresome while extremly drunk the night before, (after I had gone to bed) as I explained to him at the time, "sure no one regrets it, but thats just luck, none of ye were in a fit state to consent long before I went to bed and as the maturest person there you should know better" (as unlike Z, at the earler time i went to bed they were all quite obviously beyond judgement impared), also this is exactly the sort of thing I do not condone/allow under my roof, and involving people under my care (fine if they had arranged when relativly sober, or if the age/experience hadn't had such large disparity)
To anyone with copies of any of the various allegations spread on Facebook or via direct message etc. please consider sharing them with me. and encouraging those involved to cease/desist or at least investigate by talking to all parties